Damn you Pillsbury

Hubby went grocery shopping and brought home a treat. Pillsbury apple turnovers. We used to have these when I was a kid. Mmmm. So yummy.

The problem is that one box only makes eight turnovers. We have a family of five.
8/5 is 1.6. Do you see my dilemma? There are several ways we could do this. We could wait until a Monday, Tuesday or Thursday night when Emily's at home with her mom. 8/4 is 2. Simple. Deprive the youngest. My little brother will tell you that's what happened in our house when we were growing up. Dad would send him to bed and then bring out the donuts for the rest of us. It worked out well. Well - For everybody except for Phil, I guess.

Back to the present day...Hubby doesn't like to do anything or eat anything fun or special without his daughter. So, we're back to dividing by 5 again. If we each had one, then there would be 3 left over. (See how good I am at math?) We have three kids. Therefore, it would be fair for the three kids to have two each and for Hubby and I to have one each. But we're much bigger than the kids. We can eat more. If Hubby bought them, and I cooked them, then we're doing all the work and not getting much of a reward. THAT wouldn't be fair!

If Hubby and I each had two, and the kids each had one, there would be one left. Who would it go to? The kids would fight over it. And it wouldn't be fair for one of the adults to have three. That wouldn't work either.

What would Jesus do? He'd probably let the kids each have two and only take one for Himself. I could live with that - You know, doing the right thing and all. But Hubby was raised a Muslim. He doesn't know that he's supposed to be like Jesus and he won't give up his extra dessert. He just won't.

So, the most pure, loving, spiritual thing to do would be for me to make the treats and hand out two to each of my family members. And while they're enjoying the warm apple pastry with the sweet sugary icing on top, I could go and do the dishes. What a saint I'd be.

Remember how in Ghostbusters, evil took the form of the Stay-Puff marshmallow man? Did you ever notice how much he looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy? Don't be fooled by that cute little laugh. Resist the dough boy. He's evil I tell ya. Evil.