Hubby and I had our first "fight" yesterday. Nothing big, just a lot of tension and emotion. It's the first time that I can remember being really angry with him. Neither one of us yelled, or called each other names and yet the kids knew that something was up.

Part way through the evening, my son asked me, "Mom, Are you guys going to get a divorce?" He said it in a joking way, and later said to me that he was just kidding, but his question struck me like a ton of bricks! This "fight" was nothing like the ones he'd witnessed between his father and I a few years ago. They were real fights - daily - the kind that leaves divorce or death as the only two ways out. I wonder what went through the kids minds last night when they saw my emotional state. I remember as a kid how I felt when my parents would argue. After going through a divorce, I imagine that the kids might feel less secure than they would have had their parents not broken up.

I obviously still carry a lot of guilt about being divorced. I just hope that the kids understand that it was the most difficult decision of my life and one that I would not make lightly. I hope that they see the strength of our current family relationship. I guess as they grow older and mature that they will be able to understand why I made the decision that I did and changed the path of their lives.

Back to last night...Hubby came home with a peace offering - a box of doughnuts! He said that he had thought about roses, but decided on the doughnuts instead. I guess he was trying to make peace with himself because he proceeded to eat three of them in a row! Roses would have been a more excellent choice, but like he said, "It's the thought that counts" NOT!! Oh well, All is forgiven and I won't be contacting a lawyer any time soon.