Another Friday and I'm faced with the same dilemma that I deal with twice a month. I must bring the kids to see their father for the weekend. That in itself is not the problem. It's the location that bothers me. This weekend he doesn't plan to go up to his parents farm with the kids. He wants to stay at his girlfriends house in Hamilton. She's having surgery on her teeth and he fears that she will not be able to take care of herself or her own children this weekend - therefore he will not leave her.
My children fear this woman. I don't think that the fact that she will be in pain this weekend and doped up on medication is going to help. It may make her more irritable and I don't want her taking it out on the kids or on the he-ex in front of the kids. The he-ex asked me to trust him and not to worry. I know that he would never intentionally put the kids in danger....But I worry. The girlfriend has kicked them out (with no place to go) more than once. The he-ex has no home, no car, no job. Just a few friends who are slightly better off than he is. I don't want the kids to be homeless - even for a day. I want them to be secure and safe. I wish that I felt confident that they will be.
Why don't I refuse to bring them there you ask? Many reasons. We have joint custody. I feel that it is important for the kids to have a relationship with their father and spend time with him. I know that he loves them more than anything. I don't want to start a war with the he-ex. He would put the kids in the middle telling them that I was taking them away from him. I want to see the good and believe the best in people. I just want what's best for the kids.
Any thoughts? I'm too close to this situation to see clearly. What is the right thing to do? I welcome your comments.
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3 comments:
You know what I think. I think that your children have to come first. And I think that however good the intentions of the he-ex are, he needs to be re-orientated to the truth: Shannon is not good for your kids. They are frightened of her. I'd be flippin', but I've always been more volatile than you.
Of course the children should come first! I talked to them about it, and they agreed to go there. Their biggest concern was that they were going to be bored there this weekend. I'm thinking about having a talk with Shannon..to find out where she's coming from and to lay down the law where my kids are concerned. Rob says she's pretty tough but I have no problem going head to head with this chick.
Jan.
I didn't mean YOU had to put them first, I meant the he-ex needed to. You already do. So what happened when you picked them up last night?
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