Despair

I'm not sure how to pick myself up and get going again. All I want to do is crawl into bed and stay there indefinitely. I can't do that though because I have an appointment in an hour and I have to shower and re-enter the big bad world. It's a strange feeling to know that you're carrying around a lifeless fetus. Today will likely be the last day for that though as I'm expecting a trip to the hospital. I'm trying to figure out how all this is going to make me a stronger, better person. At least, I hope that's the final result.