Overdue

$10,800.00 owing in child support. I have signed the papers and they are ready to send in to the Family Responsibility Office. It is a very difficult thing to do.

I still feel guilty as if I'm purposely hurting the he-ex in attempting to retrieve the support owed. Of course, I would never purposely hurt anyone - especially someone that I have shared so much of my life with. But the time has come. Tough love you could call it. The he-ex has had more than three years to get his life together. I've given him the space to heal and start over. He's had the chance to take responsibility for his life. I've wanted allow him time to get a job, get a clean, safe place to live ( and for the kids to visit) , get a good reliable vehicle that he could use to visit the children. I've wanted to give him a chance to have a telephone that could be used to keep in touch with his kids. I've wanted him to be able to afford to make the trip to see a soccer game or a school play. I guess that he hasn't wanted that for himself or his children.

Hubby (and I) have been providing for the kids without any financial help. They have a good life and not only have their needs met, but have many extras that they desire. Still, the cost of new boots and snowsuits is quite high. Field trips and presents for friends birthday parties can really add up. Finances (or lack thereof) is the biggest source of stress between Hubby and I. I need the he-ex to contribute. Hubby pays more than twice what I'm asking the he-ex for in child support. He only has one child. The he-ex has two.

As a Christian, I've always been taught to think of others before myself. Love is patient and kind, does not insist on it's own way. I know that when the powers that be attempt to collect the money, the he-ex will be destroyed. Any progress that he's made in the last few years (if any) will have been lost. Bi-weekly visits will become more and more volatile. I'm afraid that the children will suffer. And yet, things would be easier at home.

And so, after many arguments and tears, much thought and procrastination, I have made the decision and have signed the papers that could send the he-ex to jail. There are no winners in this scenario. I hope I'm doing the right thing.