Party Pooper

I had to write a new post to spare you from getting hit in the face with that big, scary black and white photo booth picture each time you open this page.

Emily came to me this morning to tell me that her friend has a birthday party tomorrow at noon. I asked her where the invitation was. She said it was at school. I know that kids forget stuff - But the girl is almost nine years old. If the party was so important to her, wouldn't she give us more notice?

My kids, if they had left it to the last minute, would not expect to be allowed to go to the party.

I'm torn between trying to teach Emily a lesson by not allowing her to go, or to be merciful and run out to buy a present this afternoon. The birthday girl is one of her best friends.

Poor Emily has two sets of rules and expectations. One set at our house and the other at her mother's. I hate having to bend my rules for her when I wouldn't bend them for the other two - Or would I? Step-parenting is HARD!

It's not just the party, It's a whole bunch of things. The girl expects the world to revolve around her. I can understand this since it's just her and her mom at home. I'm sure that she gets everything that she wants in her other world. But in this world - We share, we co-operate, we try to be fair and look out for everybody's needs. When she doesn't get what she wants, Emily throws a temper tantrum or sulks. She's always looking out for number one.

Last night we went to see the movie "8 Below". (good movie - we liked it) Randy had a bunch of video game tokens that he'd received as a present. So after the movie, we went to the game room and Randy generously gave Emily some tokens to play some games. Emily had played two games before Randy offered Kianna some tokens. Kianna chose her game and Emily jumped in and played it first. Then she went and sat in the corner while Kianna played her game, whining that she had no more tokens.

At dinner last night, we had soup. There was a plate stacked with bread in the middle of the table for all to help themselves to. Emily took the second last piece and took two bites out of it. Then, seeing that there was only one piece left on the plate, she decided that she'd better get it before anyone else took it.

It's little things like that, that drive me up the wall. I feel like the evil step-mother being such a hard ass all the time. But it's not fair to Randy and Kianna to have a second, more relaxed set of rules and expectations for Emily.

She's not a bad kid. I understand her confusion. It must be hard sharing the attention of her Father with two other kids and myself when she gets her mother's undivided attention at home. I just get so frustrated trying to teach her things like manners and consideration for others when my kids learned them years ago when they were really young.

So, Do I go out and buy a birthday present today? Is that telling her that it's okay to be irresponsible? Or is it telling her that her step-mother has a heart and is loving and forgiving? I'm not sure how to handle this.