My latest Issue

It's time for another therapy session:

What's bugging me now? It's the she-ex. Well, sort of.
She works in retail. Mon, Thurs, Fri and Sat. 'till 6. Wed. 'till 9. When she first got her job, Hubby and I were not seeing Emily as much as we'd have liked to and wanted to make things easier for the she-ex. (She makes money - she doesn't bother us as much for money - life is better for Emily and all the adults in her life) so we basically said that we'd look after Emily as much as we could while the she-ex was at work. I got myself a job where I could be home in the evenings and on weekends for the kids.

So, Emily's been walking home with Kianna from school every day and the she-ex picks her up after work. Lately, the she-ex has been doing errands after work and not picking Emily up right away. On Wednesday nights sometimes, she's not here until 10 o'clock. When she does show up, she'll tell Emily to go and find some clothes or a toy or something that she left at our place. Then Emily will want to show her mother something she's made or something that we've done and the she-ex will end up traipsing all over my house. There's usually some sort of gossip that she has to share about Hubby's workplace (her new boyfriend/step-brother works at the same place) or about a teacher or student at the kids school. The pick-up turns in to a long ordeal. She's pleasant enough, but I really don't want to have to deal with her every day.

Saturdays have become an issue. Every other weekend is her weekend and yet she still schedules work and expects me to take Emily for her. Her schedule changes from time to time and she often fails to let me know until the last minute when she will be dropping Emily off. This means that I must make my plans around her schedule. I'm tired of not having any no-kid weekends. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I'm becoming resentful. Hubby's never home. A quarter of his paycheck goes each month to the she-ex. Part of that payment is supposed to be for daycare and yet, I'm doing it for free. Yes, Emily is family and I don't expect payment for "babysitting" her, but I would like our sacrifices to be acknowledged. I hate living my life on the she-ex's schedule. I am not her bitch!

Since the divorce, I've been learning how NOT to be a door mat. I'm learning to say NO. My new-found self worth allows me to do things for me without feeling guilty. But I'm new at this. There is a fine line between standing up for yourself and just being plain selfish. I wonder if I'm walking that line.