I went to a movie tonight. It was a comedy. I laughed. I ate popcorn. I drove home. What a waste of time and money! It's not that the movie was bad, or that I spent a fortune (I had a coupon). It's just that it was so meaningless.
I have this heaviness around me lately. It's not depression or sadness. It's a seriousness. It's deep. Like I'm preparing for something. I feel like I'm on the verge of something. What it is, I don't know. It feels like everything I've been through has led me to this point...almost like I'm about to discover my purpose in life.
Dramatic eh? I can also feel you rolling your eyes.
But for the first time in a long time (maybe EVER) I feel like God has big plans for me. I think I might be ready. Bring it on
3 comments:
Wow! This incredible! I had to physically stop my soothing music to read this. Why? I'm going through the exact same thing.
Please keep this blog up to date because I would love to see what happens next :)
when I have a quiet moment I enjoy pressing "next blog" button at the top of the page... and with in a few minutes of doing this your blog came across my screen... Im not entirely sure WHY I was drawn to read, but I figured there was a reason. So Im going to keep ready.
I have to say that your writing is wondering and its very inviting... that is talent.
On this post after I read it I instantly thought about the post about your daughter leaving to go live with her father... I can't imagine feeling those feelings that you described. I am young and my oldest is 3 almost 4. I have 3 handsome little boys from 3, 14 months, and 4 months.
Life is full of it all... but I haven't been through such sadness as most have.. but have suffered in my own way.
I believe that our Savior gives us so many opportunities to grow and live this life the best that we can with the knowledge we are given.
I believe at this time you were being prepare to enter this time in your life... it may be hard but I know the Lord has a plan for us all. It may not be easy but it will be worth it.
You can do hard things.
Thanks Courtney. I don't know when you posted this, but I just discovered it today. Thank you for your encouraging comments
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