I don't think that spousal support should exist. Child support - yes - definitely! But spousal - NO. When my husband of eleven years and I divorced, I didn't even think of asking for spousal. It takes two to make a marriage and it takes two to make a mess of it. I couldn't kick him out of my life and then also ask him to pay me on top of it all. That's what divorce is - isn't it? Separating your two lives...You both have to move on. Having to pay every month for a woman you no longer have a relationship with doesn't allow for closure. I also wanted my independence. I needed to grow up and make it on my own without his financial help. I'm an adult. He doesn't owe me a thing.

My new husband however pays $400.00 a month in spousal support. The length of his relationship with his ex was four years and they were commonlaw - not legally married. I'm sorry if this offends any of you, but to me there is a big difference. Anyway, he has to pay her this amount for four years. My question is...what did she do to deserve this money? Why is she entitled to control his pocketbook after their seperation? Why do I have to go to work daily so that she can live comfortably?

We recently figured out that he'd been overpaying her. We worked it all out and decided that next year he only needs to give her between 35 (my figure) and 75(his figure) dollars a month. So he takes her all the paperwork yesterday and lets her know that in January her cheques will be for one hundred dollars each month. Why did he feel the need to round up? Maybe it's good for his ego to be able to say that he takes care of two families. I dunno. If he was paying her to stay out of our lives forever, it might be worth it, but she's still there..everyday...taunting me. The resentment is building and I fear that one day I'm going to lose it.



Last night when I tucked my daughter into bed she said to me; "Mommy, I just love your face!" and at that moment I didn't have a care in the world. All of life's stresses just melted away. I love your face too Kianna.