Back Off!

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm taking everything way too personally. I cry for no reason. I keep hearing the he-ex's words in my head. "You're worthless, fat, stupid, useless". You'd think that more than four years later I'd be over all that stuff. I am married now to a man who treats me like a queen. He'd never say stuff like that to me. But he does say stuff like, "so-and-so is really skinny" or "Pete's wife has a great job and makes lots of money". But although there are no underlying messages in what he says, I still hear, "Why can't you be skinny like so-and-so?" and "I wish you would get off your ass and get an amazing job like Pete's wife". I end up thinking that I'm worthless compared to those people. Usually, I'm pretty good but every once and a while those old demons come around and mess with my head. Now is one of those times. I'm either pregnant (which I seriously doubt) or PMSing (which is much more likely). Women are so complex. Aren't they?

P.S. This is not a cry for help. Please don't comment to tell me that I'm not worthless. I know that. I was just saying...