Behaving Badly

I'm blaming the pregnancy. These wacky hormones have turned me into psycho woman. One minute I'm laughing and having a great time, the next, I'm crying, yelling, jumping up and down and making cave-woman noises.

I haven't really been out of the house for two weeks. (except for my daily half hour walk to do Randy's paper route) My kids are away and I've got Emily every day and night because her mother is working. I haven't had any grown up conversation. I feel like I'm a slave to the she-ex and her all important schedule. The only time I've had alone with my husband is when he's sleeping - And there's not much fun in that. I feel like I'm losing it!

On the up-side, Emily and I had a great time together yesterday. We played and laughed and cuddled. Tonight, Hubby has promised to take me out. I am so looking forward to it!

My OB appointment has finally been scheduled for the 16th. I'll be 10 weeks along by then. So much for the urgent special treatment I was promised. I'm praying that the doc will get me in right away for an ultrasound. I just can't allow myself to believe that there's a baby until I have living proof. (As if my mood swings aren't proof enough) Once I see/hear a heartbeat and am told that my hCG levels are where they should be, I'll be able to relax a bit, announce the news to the kids and finally fall in love with this baby. Until then, it's Guarded Optimism

The ex's have been jerking us around. It's a good thing that the he-ex avoids me because if I had seen him last night I would have ripped his head off. The she-ex got lucky last night too. God help her when she arrives on our doorstep tonight. I have all day to either calm myself down and be the reasonable Jan that we all know and love, or to plan my attack. I'd really love to take her down, but she is the Queen of behaving badly. She's had much more practice than I have had. I'm not sure that I could win an argument with her. To my knowledge, nobody ever has. It'd be a good fight though. ARE YOU READY TO RUUUMMMBLE?