Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Misdirected Anger

As part of the greiving process, I've blamed myself, my husband, my doctor and God for this terrible loss. However, placing blame is unproductive and unhealty. I may never know why. I am sad and angry that this happened - but have to move on.

As might be expected...While I'm in this angry stage last night, the she-ex has Emily call our house. Emily was sweet and asked how I was doing. Then she tells me that she has a friend sleeping over at her house. The funeral is at 3:30 but her friend isn't going home until 4. "Can't she go home early?" I ask. The answer is No. I hand the phone over to Hubby before I completely snap.

Hubby explains to Emily that he wants her here alone for the funeral by 3 p.m. He tells her that he loves her and understands that she wants to spend time with her friends, but that this is an important priority. The she-ex can be heard in the background saying "Oh, Just Forget It!"

I'm not a violent person, but it would not be in my best interest legally if I told you what I'd like to do to the she-ex for being so insensitive and stupid.
Even if the death of our baby had nothing to do with the she-ex, I now have somewhere to direct my anger. I should thank her for being so predictable and always being there for me when I need someone to blame.

2 comments:

chRistine said...

misdirected?

i admire you. i'd have physically crawled through the phone and strangled her. this wasn't a trip to grandma's house or a church service.. it was a funeral for a sibling.

on what planet, even if the funeral was for a family friend, do you bring a friend along to a funeral???

misdirected? hardly.

Unknown said...

You have to be kidding me......... I'd have to be held back from wanting to kill her.