Frustrated!

Hubby is going to school. He stays with my parents most of the time because it's much closer to his school. He comes home Wednesday nights and weekends. His daughter is with us every Wednesday and every other weekend. So, when he's home - everybody wants a piece of him.

Last night we spent two hours "talking" to E. She has decided that she doesn't want to come to our house on Wednesdays. She says she likes it here on weekends, but not on Wednesdays. She must have said it 1000 times last night (and I'm not exaggerating) "I JUST DON'T WANT TO COME HERE ON WEDNESDAYS!"

We asked her repeatedly WHY?

Here are some of her reasons in no particular order:
(My counter argument in italics)

-I always have to do family stuff and don't get to do what I want. (That's why you're here. You're a member of this family)
-I feel like I can't breathe here. (I actually didn't know what to say about that one considering she appeared to be breathing fine while yelling at us)
-Wednesdays are the only days my friends are available to play. (What if we change it to Tuesdays or Thursdays? Maybe you should get new friends?)
-I don't like the layout of this house. (No problem. Why didn't you just say so? We'll move immediately to a four level back split)
-I always get blamed for everything. (Untrue. But your actions do have consequences)
-I don't fit in. (We are all different, but we are still family. We love you the way you are. Let's try to make the best of it.)
-Since April, everybody is different. (What happened in April? How are we different? I never got an answer to this question)
-It's boring here. (Yeah. Satellite TV, xbox, trampoline, we go out on a regular basis to parks, movies, mini putt, go-karts, restaurants. We play games together. She has friends over. She goes over to friends houses. There are dishes to do, floors to be swept....)
-I'm old enough to make my own decisions (Are you old enough to control your attitude and your behaviour? Can you make a decision to be positive?)
-My mom said....oh never mind...I forgot what I was going to say. (Yeah. I already knew who was feeding this conflict.)
-This house doesn't smell like my mom's house. (Get some of your mom's perfume and spray it in your room. Oh, by the way. I'm making curried chicken tonight. Just warning you.)
-I never wanted siblings (What made you think any of us got to choose?)
-I want to see if I can be responsible and spend Wednesday nights alone while my mom is at work. (Why don't you try that on a Friday night with your mom? Doesn't she work all day Saturday? Aren't you home alone then?)
-Dad is never around. (He comes home for you. He is here. He is spending time with you. He wants you here. He loves you. Isn't this what we're arguing about?)
-It's confusing going from my house to your house. (You have been doing this for 8 years since you were three years old. It's been the same routine. The same days. The same house. The same people. Why are you all of a sudden confused?)

Hubby and I tried to listen to her, reason with her, hug her, love her. None of that worked. We tag teamed it. He talked to her alone. We talked to her together. I talked to her alone. She shouted. She whined. She cried. She made grunting sounds. She punched the air around her.
We started getting angry at this stubborn little girl. She refused to tell us what was really bothering her. It was all excuses. She continually contradicted herself.

Personally, I think she just doesn't like it when we call her on her bullshit.

The she-ex came to pick her up and had a talk with Hubby while making E. sit outside in the dark. She informed him that she was on his side and had told E. that she had to come on the weekends, but that if she didn't want to come on Wednesdays, she was old enough to make her own decisions and that she could get a free children's lawyer if she wanted to.

The child is eleven. She is not being abused in any way, shape or form while she is in this house. All we ask of her is to have a good attitude and participate in our family. If the she-ex wants to get her a lawyer to argue that she shouldn't be here because our house smells different - She should go for it. I think that maybe a therapist would be a better choice. But I'm just the step-mom.

I need to cut down on the sarcasm. I know this. It's just that when normal, reasonable conversation isn't an option, I become a smartass.